This is the seventh post in a series of entries I will be writing on Post-College Depression.
In the first post of this series I talked about what post-college depression is and typical symptoms and causes. In the second post we discussed how a lack of a sense of control over one's life can result in millennials and emerging adults from Generation Y developing post-college depression. In the third we talked about how the tyranny of choice and high expectations can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression after college. In the fourth we talked about how you can use positive psychology techniques to combat postcollege depression, anxiety, and stress. In the fifth we talked about how you can use journal writing to conquer the postcollege blues. In the sixth we took a look at how you can use exercise to improve your mood and mental health. Today we will talk about seeking professional help when dealing with the postcollege blues.
Why Should You See A Therapist
“I
decided to start seeing a therapist about a year after I graduated,”
says Michael, a twenty-four-year-old from Baltimore. “I was pretty darn
lonely and didn’t really feel like I had a group of friends whom I
trusted. I really missed my family as well as my close friends who were
back east. I started seeing a psychiatrist for about six months, but I
didn’t feel like I was making much progress so I really shopped around
and saw about five psychotherapists before settling down with a new one
whom I have been seeing since. I’m glad I went because I think it helps
a lot. I have found that it’s really useful just to take an hour a week
to think about yourself. I still have a lot of issues to work out and I
think therapy is a great way to figure out those things.”
As
Michael points out, therapy can provide an opportunity to take a step
back and evaluate important issues that need to be addressed in your
life. Not only will you be able to have an objective person listen to
everything you are going through, but a good therapist will also help
you develop the psychological skills needed to cope with many of the
issues you will confront during the the years after college and beyond.
Some young people I spoke to said that one of the paths they took to
deal with the struggles they were having with the post college blues
was seeking out professional help. They told me that seeing a
psychologist gave them an opportunity to fully express to an outside
observer what they were truly feeling and it really helped them get
through many of the issues they were dealing with at the time.
Letting Go of the Fear of Appearing Weak
One
of the obstacles that young people can face in seeing a psychologist is
that they can feel weak for having to see a professional to deal with
their post college blues. The idea that it’s not normal for someone in
their early twenties to seek out therapy can prevent many graduates from getting much-needed help. Many young professionals
don’t have friends or know people their own age seeing a psychologist.
Even if there are such people around, you may not be aware of it because no one really wants to mention that they’re seeking professional help because of the stigma usually attached to it. “Back when I started therapy, I really didn’t have friends who were seeing therapists, so it was a tough step,” says Gabriel, a twenty-six-year-old from Albuquerque. “I talked to my parents about it and then spent some time looking at therapists covered by my insurance. I do think the stigma of therapy really goes away when you have a lot of friends who are also in therapy.
"My two best guy friends are in therapy, the two girls I’ve dated seriously both see therapists, and various other folks are in therapy, too. In fact, at least three of my friends are open about the fact that they also see psychiatrists so they can get antidepressants. Many of those who are not in therapy wish they had insurance programs that covered it. I still don’t really mention it at work, but I’m pretty open with all my friends about seeing a therapist, and I find myself constantly recommending therapy to those of my friends who aren’t already in it.
"I do think that I’d feel much less comfortable talking about therapy if there weren’t so many folks around me who also see therapists.” As Gabriel points out, unless you know of people who are actually in therapy, it can be tough to let go of the fear and seek out professional help.
Therapy as an Psychological Tune-Up
I asked psychologist
Lynn Bufka, a director in the Practice department at the American
Psychological Association, about this and she told me, "I think more
people might consider therapy if they understood it and knew that
therapy doesn’t have to go on for years, but can be brief and focused
on problem-solving. This is why a therapist might offer something more
than a good friend can. As a practitioner, I really think people would
be better served if they thought of psychotherapy as something that you
might avail yourself of at a particular juncture in your life rather
than having to see a therapist for years. We see our physicians that
way—why not treat mental health the same way?"
Bufka makes a great point: If you were seriously hurt physically, you would certainly take the necessary steps to treat your injury. Well, if your emotions or way of thinking have been seriously injured, it is also necessary to take the proper steps to treat your pain, and sometimes this means seeking out professional help.
As a good friend of mine who went to see a therapist told me, “I really just figured it came down to wanting to take some steps to feel better and thinking that this might be a good way to do it. If I were physically sick I would probably spend the money to get that treated, so I figured I would just try to eat out fewer times over the next few months and not go out as much.”
Shopping for a Psychologist
In
looking for a good psychologist, Bufka told me, “I think it’s really
important for people to feel comfortable selecting and hiring. I mean,
it is hiring—the patient is the one paying for the services of a
therapist,” and because you can pay a significant amount of money to
see a professional, it is a good idea to shop for a psychologist like
you would anything else you’re buying. Here are some helpful tips she
said to keep in mind when seeking a psychologist:
1.
Call potential therapists and ask questions. Don’t just go on whether or
not they have an available opening. You’re signing up for something
pretty personal, so feeling comfortable with the psychologist, whether
it is interpersonal comfort or comfort with how they respond to your
initial questions, does matter. You are the purchaser of services, so
ask questions. If you don’t like the answers, don’t make an
appointment.
2. Inquire about fees and whether they will
accept your insurance up front. Don’t leave any doubt that you could
see the person if you like them. Also, ask whether the therapist has a
sliding scale. Many therapists feel a responsibility to treat a certain
number of lower-income clients, and this may make it possible to see
someone who is out of your price range.
3. Provide a
little bit of information about your current situation and see if the
psychologist seems responsive. This may be an indication of how they
will be during therapy.
4. Either on the phone or in
person, ask questions about how long the therapist thinks treatment
might take. Ask about their approach to therapy and what you might be
doing. Most experienced therapists can be rather eclectic in approach.
This is generally a good thing because it means they are paying
attention to the literature, striving to learn new things, and adapting
to meet the needs of the person in front of them.
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I'm so glad I came across your blog. There is such a stigma attached to seeking therapy but it really can make a difference at this difficult time after college. As Michael puts it, it really helps to "take an hour a week" to think about yourself. Can't wait to read more!
Posted by: Ashley | October 17, 2008 at 02:19 AM
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Posted by: Gia J. | January 19, 2009 at 01:52 AM