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September 26, 2008

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Great blog, Marcos!

No doubt many will benefit from the insights you have learned. I look forward to reading your upcoming posts.

Thank God there are other people who understand.

I was considering therapy--but I can't afford it because I don't think my medical covers it and I wasn't sure I wanted to pay a therapist to tell me things I can figure out from what I learned in Psych 101. Perhaps this is normal then.

I've had my share of post-grad depression too. I graduated from college nearly three years ago. It's not that I miss college. I pretty much took advantage of the experience and did nearly everything I wanted to do. I was involved in sports and other school activities, worked, good student, leader, lots of good friends, ambitious, optimistic and saw myself as being more mature than most my peers.

When I graduated, I was pumped. With a great intership under my belt, I was ready to apply what I gained in college and change the world.

I experienced my share of false starts. Within 3 months, I found my first job, but quickly found out it wasn't for me. I was "let go" from my first two jobs ...told I wasn't good enough or not a good fit. All of a sudden, I didn't know what to do. I felt like a failure with no direction. If someone told me I was doing good for someone fresh out of college, I didn't know it.

Then I landed the job of my dreams as a newspaper reporter and did that for a year. That year, however, turned out to be a bad, eyeopening experience for me. It didn't take long for that to fall either. Made me realize how important it is to work with good people. I also realized that time is precious. Once it's gone, it's gone.

After my share of career misfortunes, I've found someplace that makes me happy for the time being. But amidst that, I feel axious all the time. I feel like I never have a moment of peace in my head.

I find it hard to motivate myself like I used to when I was in school. No more pats on the back or words of praise on a regular basis. Then on another note, I'm so busy with my own life that I see and talk less and less to my friends. I'm 25 years old now and I wonder if I'm doing enough to save for my retirement. I'm 25 and worry about RETIREMENT! I'm in a steady relationship, and that alone comes with it's shown share of problems outside the adjustment to reality.

I want to by a house, but when will that come? I'm not making 50k + or six figures yet. I want to go to grad school, but don't know what to focus on. Now, I find myself reconsidering the goals I set way back when I was a teen. I've always had high standards for myself and continuously feel as if I need to be doing more so I don't fall behind my peers.

I've realized their is little about this world that I can change immediately. Even if you are a nice person and do all the right things, you can still get screwed.

As a male minority I feel that I don't have any one to turn to with these feelings. In my community such feelings are not meant to be expressed by a man whom has his health, youth, and education. Yet, it is tough to move on, and hard to express the feelings you are not suppose to have especially when you are talking to people who are not in a similar situation.

I never expected to feel so sad after graduating. I feel like everything I know is gone, and I am so afraid to go to interviews because I feel like I haven't really learned anything in college that could prepare me for the future besides waking up early and studying for things I don't even remember anymore. Everyone says I should be proud, but I feel like college was so much work on subjects that don't matter, and after all this work all I get is a fancy piece of paper, and no real skills.

@ Linda

You should reconsider going to see a therapist. It is much more than psych 101 and they are trained professionals that can help get out the negative emotions and thoughts you may be experiencing. Many therapists will charge on a sliding scale and will work with you so you can afford treatment. Therapy is not always for severe emotional problems but can sometimes be used for more of an emotional tune up. Think about how much money you spend on your education - why not spend a fraction of that as an investment in your mental health?

Marcos

For me i did my depression 1 year before graduation and i started medication but i am relapsing and i am doing doing up and downs when i graduated i was full of energy and hope by presenting my cv and doing interviews now i feel worthless as an Engineer i just dont know how to get rid of this negative ideas !

I had grad in 96. I felt like the high school system just wanted to get you out of there. They do not prepare students for the real world or even college/univers. I would have benefited greatly from a Life Skills Program, How to Research the right college or university and an Effective Study Skills Course. Myself and a lot of other students are not prepared for the unexpected things in life. I didn't like the negative influence of college of drinking, smoking, partying, and the intense pressure to have sex. I felt like a baby in the adult world that I was unprepared for.

Now, students have too many choices, too much technology and too much of everything. It a very confusing way to start out in the ways of the world. If i had things my way I would stick to a local community college and just focus on my studies.

Glad to know there are others who share the quiet desperation of post-college life, the world of the unknown! In college the world is your playground, you can dream of changing it while wearing designer clothes as you skip to the coffee shop to meet your metrosexual boyfriend... okay that's my own fantasy... pretty sure I got it from Carrie, Sam, Charlotte, and Miranda.. but whatever. The point is, I think a common theme is that college is great for empowering teen-twenty somethings and making them think them can do anything- (unless you flunked out) but NOBODY tells you that just because you graduated from a fabulous school, doesn't mean you'll be good at life... it doesn't mean you won't be faced with the same types of problems you did before you went to college. It doesn't meant that you're particular smarter than anyone else who didn't go to college. It does mean you'll be forced to take a large sour gulp of reality when you realize you have ten thousand billion dollars of student loans to pay off- and you have to live with your parents so you won't starve to death in the fabulous streets of the city. (insert personal autobiography here). And no matter how liberal your college career was, no matter how much you can't stand capitalism and corporations and evil evil evil, to live in America requires that you bleed money, and that you love doing it.

bleh! it sucks! my professors all said I was so smart and mature! So why do I work at a call center and live with my mom in the burbs? During these moments of quarter life crisisdom, I think it's important to try and dedicate yourself to some goal- anything. Learn a language, study for the GRE, teach yourself how to sew... learn to cook exotic cuisine. The turbulent twenties don't have to be doom and gloom. They don't have to be directionless- and who says that a wandering soul is all bad? Life is meant to be enjoyed with love, and if you're still wishy washy about the future, maybe it's because you need to experience more things before realizing what makes you thrive. Sometimes college isn't enough for that.

I am personally one of those people who wants to do something great, but has no clue what great thing to pick. It's terrifying and stifling to have all of these choices hurdling at your face like shooting stars, attacking you with their promise of happiness. After college there is nooooobody to tell you which star to pick, and nobody to cry to if you think you picked the wrong one.

That's been my problem my entire life, the compulsive need to accomplish something, but having no idea where to direct all my hyperactive, very enthusiastic energy towards. By now I've considered that most people either get successful from a streamlined focused life plan from birth, or simply by being at the right place at the right time. Or by being born into a wealthy family. (the last one happens the most). So by elimination of the impossible, I had better buy a rabbits foot and make four leaf clover bracelets out of unicorn hair.

It scares me because I've always felt like I had free choice in my life- but it simply isn't true. One day I will desperately want to be an actress, and the next I'll want to major in International Affairs, and then the next day I can't possibly understand why I'd choose either career because my true calling is to start my own business. And all of those choices were made by stupid things, like a comment a woman made on a bus that made me consider industrial psychology, or a random trip to the spa that made me realize my true dream of becoming a massage therapist. Can we really control our future at all, if a strange glance from a stranger in the grocery store makes me want to be a celebrity animal trainer? It's the world around us that makes our decisions for us. Still, I sooo envy those people who are dedicated to something they've wanted all their lives. They must sleep like dead babies.

I've decided to allow the winds to direct me where they wish, because I don't have the stamina to be attached to anything for more than a day, I don't have enough fire in my blood to guide me towards some passionate ambition, and frankly, I think people are too obsessed with being awesome and fantastic that we don't step back and realize that idea is just a mirage. Once you're fantastic, there are loads of people more fantastic than you are, that you must now compete with. Nobody can live happily that way. It is best to just live, and guide your life by doing what brings joy to your heart. Cheesy, but I believe it. The best way to change the world is by bringing joy to yourself, which will bring joy to others without effort. And that brings us to where we started from, which is... what the hell is going to bring me joy?

and that's life.

I just graduated college and have definitely been feeling the post college blues. I feel extremely worthless, and I definitely can relate to sara. I feel like I acquired no skills to offer the work force, and have yet to find a "real job." Every day I think "today will be different" and hope to hear from a job I applied for, or from a company I interviewed with, all to no avail. I now work three part time jobs because I can't seem to find any full time work. It just seems like I can't catch a break, and it's spilling over into my personal life as well. I can't seem to relate to anyone because I graduated a year early, and all my friends either have full time jobs, or are still in college. I just want to be able to do something I love and put all my passion into it.

It's good to know I'm not alone.

I busted my butt off in college, to get a degree in biology. I thought there would be plenty of jobs, which is what the college told me. When I graduated, I left school and an internship which entailed living on the beach studying sea turtles. I knew that lifestyle would be irreplaceable. But with all the hard work I put in and the diversity of my career path, I thought I would find something similar.

I got a job at an environmental consulting company (160 miles from where I went to school), where I sit in an office, staring at a computer and acting busy. At least once a month, I'm told the company is struggling and I'm lucky to have a job. I have been there a year with no raise. I had to get a 2nd job on the weekends running food to tables, where I make more money/hr. The pay is lousy.

Luckily, I live with my parents. And as many of you know, it isn't fun. Due to the instability of the job I don't feel secure enough to move out.

Working 7 days a week + living with parents + out of college town = no social life.

The jobs aren't there to apply for, salary is terrible, and I don't have enough experience.

Going through all this has made me question what my hard work was for.

I TOTALLY relate to this one. My boyfriend and I went to the same college in Upstate NY, and after graduation he moved to CT with his brother, while I moved in with my parents in MA (not my hometown - they'd moved). I only made one new friend during the year after graduation, but my hometown was an hour away and lots of family was nearby, so it wasn't so bad. But after a year, I decided to follow my bf down to CT, where he and his brother became the only people I knew. Since then, it's been really difficult and the fact that neither of us knows many people besides each other has become a strain on our relationship - I don't know what to do with myself when he's not around because I don't know many other people. Slowly I've begun to get closer to a few people at work, and we hang out every once in a while, which hopefully will continue.

It's just been a bit depressing, this feeling of having almost no friends for the first time in my life, and of being almost dependent on my boyfriend because of that. Not exactly the glamorous adult I'd pictured myself becoming!

That being said, things are SLOWLY starting to get better. In the fall we're moving to a neighborhood where several of my closer friends from work live, so hopefully I'll get back the sense of community that I lost after graduating college/leaving home.
I think that making friends after college is definitely possible, it's just a shock how much longer it takes for these friendships to develop than they did when we were in school.

It's good to know others are in the same boat, though - probably something to keep in mind when you DO meet new people our age!

Total mid-20s depression here. I thought I finally had it all figured out, and then I got rejected from all the graduate programs to which I applied. I guess it doesn't matter where you go to college or how good your GRE scores are... anyway, now I'm working part-time at the first college I went to (I transferred), sleeping on friends' couches, and looking desperately for a job that I'll be able to work at for at least a year without turning into a serious alcoholic. That's my criteria at this point: so long as it is marginally tolerable enough that I won't come home every night and drown my sorrows in copious amounts of booze, I will take your job! Please! Except, too bad there just aren't that many jobs out there to take...

And I tried moving home once before. It REALLY didn't work out, so that's not really an option for me.

It doesn't help that I have an older sibling who did everything perfectly and is now super-successful and happy. How do you follow that? And we're only a year apart!

It's good to know that I'm not alone, though. I have a lot of really successful friends so I often feel like this gigantic fuckup who can't figure anything out, while everyone around me makes their lives work beautifully. Good to hear that others out there are struggling, too -- it's not just me!

I also just graduated last may and I want to mention another aspect of this post-college blues that I've been going through and that hasn't been discussed here as much.

That is, having gone to a mid-size liberal arts school, I felt that by the end of my time there, I really had my own place on campus, I'd found my niche. I had a lot of friends that I would see every time I went out for a walk or sat on the college green to read. If I was ever bored I could find at least one or two other people who wanted to do something. I always had someone to eat dinner with or grab a beer with, there was always a friend's band or art show to go see, and it was (relatively) easy to meet women. The sort of tight, ready made community I was a part of is what I am sorely missing now.

Probably I'll wind up in the same location as a few of my friends, and thankfully email and g-chat make it easier to keep tabs. Still, there are so many people that I'll only see rarely, if ever (maybe at reunions). I think the loss of that community that I loved so much is a huge part of the blues that I've been feeling for the past couple months.

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. Everyone in my life is getting on my nerves. They think they know so much. When I graduated college I was able to get a good paying job. It had nothing really to do with what I majored in but it was nice money and it sounded nice to tell people what I did.

Then earlier this year the company laid off my department and I'm scrambling to find a job. I apply to countless jobs and I have searched all over my town. People mean well when they ask me if I applied at the obvious places in my town but I'm like I have a degree so I have to have a little intelligence. Of course I applied there!

Also, I'm really religious so people in my religious community act like I'm not doing something right. They say maybe you're not praying hard enough for a new job or a husband or direction. I tell them I pray every day, several times a day. Then they are like well maybe God's mad because you try to rush Him along. I think well they do a whole lot of crazy bad stuff all the time and they still got a job, a house, and a man. I just don't get why people try to judge my situation as a punishment from God.

During this awful transitional time I have contemplated suicide a lot. I don't think I can go through with it because my family has dealt with the loss of a few relatives. I lost my mom two years ago so I can definitely relate to the person earlier who lost their dad. I also had to take care of her and my father who had cancer, too.

I moved back home to help take care of my dad. He's better and he's gone back to work. But I'm left jobless, low on money, and with a love life that needs life support.

I never thought it would be this way. When I was a teen, I thought certainly by this age I'd be seriously dating someone, I'd have a great career or even my own company, and I'd be living a cool life in my nice little house or apartment. It's so hard to realize that all these things can happen but just not right now.

Oh and today I held one of my friend's babies and I almost started crying. I know I'm only 26 and biologically I should be able to easily have a baby for several more years but all I keep hearing in my brain is 4 more years! 4 more years. My biological clock keeps telling me 4 more years like if I don't have a baby by 30, my ovaries will explode and I'll have to get a dog to dress up in baby clothes.

It's amazing how our own analyzing and fears can drive us crazy.

In the past, universities created specific degrees for specific jobs that employees would have forever. What's worse, they filled us with a little too much confidence. Now that the economy is unstable, this model doesn't work at all. You have to be creative and flexible. Research jobs that could benefit from your skill set. Start working small, but make very big plans to stay motivated. Also, have faith that you'll click with somebody interviewing you. My boss hired me just because she liked me! Imagine!

Even when everyone says "thank God I'm not alone" in post-college depression, I want to say it, yet I still feel alone. I am about to turn 23 and graduated last December '07. I continued to live with a college roommate for the Spring semester and had a girlfriend (a true soul mate)who I started dating in Sept/Oct of '07. I also took an additional Acting Course at my college (was a Theatre Major) for free and was in a show that semester as well. Pretty much it took 4.5 years to graduate but 5 years of college living.

By the end of the school year, my relationship fell apart and sent me into the initial depression. I had planned for a year to go to England to live and work with a 6-month Visa. I went for a month. Realized it wasn't what I wanted anymore and came back to the states. I am now living at home working (while trying to pay off the England thing) before the claimed eventual move to Chicago/LA to start my acting career. I am in an essence in what I like to call post-college purgatory, ontop of the depression.

Half of my friends have graduated and have started their lives, and the other half (including the now Ex, whom I can't get over) are still in college. I'm an hour and 20 minutes from that city and keep wanting to use every excuse to go up and see people. Everyone knows I'm ultimately depressed and all people can say is "give it time" and similar sayings. I have no clue what the solution is.

My 25 year old sister might be moving back home with my 18 month old nephew after troubles with her boyfriend. Life at home isn't fun. No social life really and GRASPING any glimpse I can still get of the college lifestyle. I think this transition is hard enough in itself, and I am having to do it with the heartbreak and loss of the one I thought I couldn't lose and would be there to help with this transition.

Suicide has run through my mind as well as a couple others have said. No health-insurance means no therapy or depression meds. I feel as though I'm going to look back in 20 years and find that my life topped off when I was 22.

I have always been sort of an optimist, but this time around, it's a little different. Turns out love is the most important aspect in my life, and all I want is to have the woman of my life back because everything else might be figured out.

I am also feeling the post-graduation anxiety! I feel that as a graduate I deserve the respect, and paycheck, that should come along with it. Unfortunately, most interviewers disagree. In contrast to Sara, I think I have learned many great skills and have a great work ethic, but I can not find a job that will appreciate me and allow me to exercise these skills. I can't afford more unpaid internships to get the 'experience' employers want. I know I can perform, and hopefully will find an appropriate place to do so soon. Money, no boyfriend, loss of friends, and seeing others' rapid success rates are bringing me down. I have no motivation to get out of bed each and every morning!

From reading everyone's comments it's good to know that we are all in similar situations. I've recently graduated from university and am looking for a job. Any job will do for now so long as it brings me money. I'm living back at home so the social life is lacking but at least if I get some cash I can go visit friends who are still at university.

I find it helps to plan exciting fun things, to have something to look forward to. The days seems to pass by and roll into one at the moment! I feel like a housebound pensioner. What this time has allowed for is a lot of thinking and reflection! I've got to live in the present now rather than dream about the future or pine for the past. I find myself re-evaluating my situation over and over again and am not getting anywhere because ultimately there's too much thinking going on and not enough action or motivation!

I know I've got to just get out there and try something, but until someone takes a chance on me and employs me I'm stuck. Being unemployed really doesn't make you feel good about yourself, it's like if anyone meets you and asks what you do and you say "er well I don't have a job...but I am trying to get one" they just automatically have a low opinion of you.

I've recently dug out old records I used to listen to and came accros a Coldplay track that goes "Nobody said it was easy, no-one ever said it would be this hard, I'm going back to the start." I feel the lyrics are relevant to my life right now. I'm making a new beginning and taking each day as it comes, one step at a time. As the proverb goes, "It doesn't work to cross a 20ft chasm in two 10ft jumps."

I really thought i was the only one who felt like a big loser. I relocated to London assuming i would find a job easily and now im sitting here jobless with no friends and feeling like a big loner. Everyone has moved on and most of my friends have lucked out or thrown themselves into post academic education having to be the last one left without a job is brutal. Being 23 and a recent graduate has proven to be one of the lowest pts of my life. It's hard to wake up in the morning and motivate yourself to keep going and pushing foward when all you feel is defeated. Being unemployed is the ultimate rejection and you can't help but feel inadequate, you work so hard all 4 yrs achieving A's and B's only to leave school and realize no one wants to know you; not even those oh so helpful head hunting agencies to them your nothing but a product waiting to be shifted and if you don’t have corporate experience your academic knowledge is worthless.

However at the same time the career enhancing job that i have been searching for is still not the solution to the whole issue. The thought of being in an industry where i am surrounded by ppl in their mid 30s and beyond is definitely nothing like living the res life and being amongst your equals and academic peers who you could easily bond and form friendships with. I really don’t feel i can relate to all the 30+ year olds amidst the rat race.

I believe the isolation is far greater when you've been living on campus environment, during university you feel as though u are living with a community and all this changes upon graduating. Instead you are thrust into a cold profession world where everyone is much older and experienced and it just makes you feel so much smaller. At least in University students could hold on to their self-worth and esteem by priding themselves on being academics as well as, working towards their future goals.

However leaving school has made me realize in the eyes of the business world being a new graduate you're merely a disposable minion who is not even worth the $5/hr temp position your competing so hard for. All i have left is the rosy glow of memories of my previous undergrad life. The harsh reality is still setting in and i have realized my unrealistic expectations were nothing but fantasy. A post graduate’s professional ranking is at the bottom of the food chain. I wish my university would have prepared me for this reality because the most i have to look forward to now is to somehow climb the corporate ladder by being some tight assed executives bitch.

Hi fellow graduates. I'm in the same boat over here in europe. I remember how wonderful it was when I finally completed my last assignment. I was really motivated to get a job. I pretty much gave everything up(also time to meet friends) to earn a degree. Then I ran into catch 22 and it went downwards from then on. -BSCS College Degree BUT no working experience- Finding it very hard to find a job, also due to the staggering economy. My old non-college friends all have money, relationships, friends.. some are even married and have kids.. and I'm sitting at home with my parents waiting to finally get a sh*tty entry job. I can't sleep until 5 in the morning, then sleep till 12. Feel really sick and have no motivation what so ever to do certifications that may possibly get me another crappy job. My cum laude isn't worth anything out here. What a waste of time.

I really thought i was the only one who felt like a big loser. I relocated to London assuming i would find a job easily and now im sitting here jobless with no friends and feeling like a big loner. Everyone has moved on and most of my friends have lucked out or thrown themselves into post academic education having to be the last one left without a job is brutal. Being 23 and a recent graduate has proven to be one of the lowest pts of my life. It's hard to wake up in the morning and motivate yourself to keep going and pushing foward when all you feel is defeated. Being unemployed is the ultimate rejection and you can't help but feel inadequate, you work so hard all 4 yrs achieving A's and B's only to leave school and realize no one wants to know you; not even those oh so helpful head hunting agencies to them your nothing but a product waiting to be shifted and if you don’t have corporate experience your academic knowledge is worthless.

However at the same time the career enhancing job that i have been searching for is still not the solution to the whole issue. The thought of being in an industry where i am surrounded by ppl in their mid 30s and beyond is definitely nothing like living the res life and being amongst your equals and academic peers who you could easily bond and form friendships with. I really don’t feel i can relate to all the 30+ year olds amidst the rat race.

I believe the isolation is far greater when you've been living on campus environment, during university you feel as though u are living with a community and all this changes upon graduating. Instead you are thrust into a cold profession world where everyone is much older and experienced and it just makes you feel so much smaller. At least in University students could hold on to their self-worth and esteem by priding themselves on being academics as well as, working towards their future goals.

However leaving school has made me realize in the eyes of the business world being a new graduate you're merely a disposable minion who is not even worth the $5/hr temp position your competing so hard for. All i have left is the rosy glow of memories of my previous undergrad life. The harsh reality is still setting in and i have realized my unrealistic expectations were nothing but fantasy. A post graduate’s professional ranking is at the bottom of the food chain. I wish my university would have prepared me for this reality because the most i have to look forward to now is to somehow climb the corporate ladder by being some tight assed executives bitch.

Wow.

All I can say is that I'm feeling extreme levels of dissatisfaction, disillusionment, anxiety, and anger about my life right now. I graduated from a good university last April but life has been treating me poorly since then. I'm worried about everything: student loans coming due this month (50k; $650 + a month in payments), my job (I don't really have one, I'm just interning to bide time), my youth (I feel that it is slipping away everyday), and my personal/social life (I haven't really had a serious relationship before, and given my current state of affairs, now is definitely not the time to start).

I've always been extremely ambitious and goal-oriented. I know what I want to do and achieve in life, but right now I'm starting to get so disillusioned about my current state of affairs that I'm at my wits' end.

I miss college a great deal, and a good part of me (though I try to ignore it and move on) mourns over the fact that I let many opportunities slip by during my college years: I just kind of went through the motions and the next thing I knew, I graduated.

So, to recap: I don't have a "real" job, I didn't really have a serious girlfriend in college (and am thus lonely as all hell), I owe 50K+ in student loans, I live with my parents, and I've lost touch with some of my friends. By the way, I didn't even graduate cum laude -- I got a D+" my second-to-last semester in college and that wrecked my chances of graduating with honors.

This is pretty much the exact opposite of what I envisioned my life to be like. Needless to say, I feel as if I'm treading proverbial water and have no idea what to do with my life. I really want to go to graduate school, but a big part of me wants to try to go immediately (even though doing so is an impossibility given my inadequate work experience and the fact that I am broke) so I can "relive" college and truly enjoy life as a college kid. Although I'm very interested in the subject matter of the grad school program I intend to apply for, I would be lying if I said I didn't want to go to college football games on the weekends, party, and enjoy the social benefits (read: be around a multitude of college girls) of being a college kid again.

I'm starting to wonder if my life is going to be one really long Monday.

If anyone has had similar experiences (my condolences) or can offer any insight, I would appreciate a reply. Honestly, thank you.

I believe that all of us go through this phase in our lives right when get out of college when it becomes a reality that were not going to become successful right away. Part of that we have to blame society for, all throughout college were told that were basically guaranteed success and that going to college is the right thing to do.. well here I am a 23 year old college grad of only 5 months and I'm sitting here at an entry level job in advertising making 27k a year not doing anything but looking quarter life crises information up because I have nothing to do here at work.. it depresses me to know that the average income is supposed to be 30k for college grads, it also depresses me that I worked so hard in school and now I come to work to not only just get the boss his lunch, but do mind blowing things that someone who's 16 should be doing.

I try to look at this as just an experience and that I should be grateful that I was able to get a job in this tough economy right now but seriously.. how am I supposed to be motivated when I don't have no motivators at work??

I had no idea post-college depression was this common! I expected to feel sadness after graduation (I graduated in August), but I didn't think it'd be this difficult....

I've been searching for a job since May, and I just got my first job interview about 2 weeks ago (which I was GRATEFUL for). It took them 2 months to contact me after I applied, which sucks, but whatever. I majored in criminal justice and minored in psychology at a fairly large liberal arts school (I can also relate to the loss of community), and those are my passions. I am adamant about getting a job in the CJ field. I've taken the drug test for the job, so that was promising, but they called me last week to tell me it'll be a couple more weeks because they have to get approval to fill the position.

I have applied for at least 50 jobs so far, some of which are below my qualifications. I really feel like I could thrive in this job, and I want it more than anything right now. It sounds like it would provide excitement and purpose...not to mention around $35K/yr. I have NO money, and like everyone else, I have bills to pay. I also have to start paying back $13K of loans in about 3 months. I moved in with my boyfriend right after graduation, and it makes it hard knowing he works at least 50 hours a week, and I don't even have a stinkin' job. I'm a member of at least 3 career networking sites, and I get the daily job alerts...all the postings are either jobs I've already applied for, I'm not qualified for, or I'm completely not interested in because it's not my field (like a bank teller or someone selling insurance). It's SO frustrating.

To top it all off, I miss my college friends like crazy. College was the best time of my life. Thank God for Facebook...it makes it a lot easier to keep in touch, but I really wish I could hang out with them. But they're 5 hours away, and I have no money and a not-so-reliable car. I have friends here in the Houston area that I want to reconnect with (I'm from here), but they all have jobs...I don't want to see them until I have a job.

After college, I saw myself with a great job and engaged to my boyfriend. Except now he's also in debt...I have no job...I have no money...Hurricane Ike kicked Houston's ass and left us without power for 2 weeks...and the economy SUCKS for everyone.

The only things I'm looking forward to right now are: my birthday (money and hanging out with friends), cat-sitting ($50 to deposit into my bank account), and the presidential election (because I'm counting on CHANGE for this country). Oh yeah, and hearing back about the job...the one place that has expressed genuine interest in my skills.

It sucks we all have to feel this way, and I really hope we make it through our quarter-life crises (I've never considered that term until reading these comments). I'm really glad to know that my feelings are validated and not abnormal. I've been trying really hard not to let these feelings show because I'm known as such a happy person. Just writing this all out is pretty therapeutic for me. Whew.

i guess im a few years late but i'll write anyways because i have nothing left to do but drink this vodka tonic....here it goes....college life was great and in its own way had its ups and downs because of personal issues....i didnt realize my potential until the last year of college when i buckled down on my studies and my job at work (as a server)...i actually found my passion talking to people and showing love all around as gay as it sounds but so true....i use to love walking into work and showing my tables my light and cheering their day up....during college i started dating a girl who was very ambitious and was already teaching at 22 while i was still in college and worried about balding hahahaha so much a stupid issue but hopefully this issue will be the same...its hard when your girlfriend is so independent and ready to take on the world when you were just still living off your parents and worrying about the next exam....we broke up and I found myself again ready to do anything...my part time job as a server was going great and studies were going well....i graduated 5 months ago and im starting to feel trapped...the same girl i had dated in college we're back together again and she's wanting me to move to NY....5 months ago i woulda said "bring it the fuck on i'll take on anything"....only now i feel like im lost and i have no control over my life ....she on the other hand always knows exactly what shes doing...attitude is everything and honestly i just feel like i've lost that attitude i had only a few months back....why is it when you need your light the most it isnt there?...i feel like everything im doing is "pushing the envelope" and life doesnt work out that way so what am i suppose to do?....i feel like i can't even move an inch....i always feel like im suppose to be somewhere else....havent slept well the last couple months and my job currently isnt going so swell....i can tell my tables know exactly how i feel because i dont like putting on a fake smile...if im not happy im not going to act happy because im suppose to....i feel inversely related to the world and it seems like it happened in an instant....my lease is coming up in two months and i have no idea what to do....NY seems great and i would love the change but i know that changing location wont make you happy and solve all your problems...hope everyone that posted on here in 08 figured things out because i want to do the same....

Great to know that others felt like this, but where have all the recent comments gone? Has post-college depression stopped over the past two years?

I was awesome in college...had a great time. I was set to go to grad school after, got an internship in a related field right after school. But by the end of summer, I couldn't bring myself to go back to school, I took some time off and travelled, I had a girlfriend and lots of friends even though I was home living with my parents. But my girlfriend was an international visitor and her immigration visa expired so she moved back a year ago. In the last 6 months my friends have all moved on (relationships or jobs or something). And it's weird because I know they are struggling, too, but they are wary to talk about it. And if we were all open about it, I feel like it would make it easier on everyone.

But this sucks, it's like everything I had planned has been thrown out the window, and I have the whole world at my fingertips now, but I have no idea wtf to do with it. Being at the top is no fun when you're alone, and the loss of my girlfriend/friends along with the miserableness and negativeity of the older people I work with has shaken my confidence so bad, I sometimes just feel hopeless. Sleeping is one of my favorite parts of the day because I have no worries.

I'm really happy I found this... I've just been feeling so hopeless I don't really know what to do. I had the best time in college - I got all As, partied every night, had a ton of friends and a great relationship, always knew everyone around me and was never alone.
Now... I'm unemployed and can't even get a job at Starbucks. Literally no one will hire me. I sit at home alone and apply to jobs all day just to hear NOTHING back from anyone even though I've spent over an hour on each posting adjusting my resume and writing a cover letter. My parents, who have always been supportive, can't even support me anymore. They claim we don't have any money and I need to just "suck it up and get a job already" - as if I like staying home alone all day in the dark trying to get my cat to cuddle with me (fyi he wont). My relationship is shitty. I hate that boyfriend won't just fix his own problems, because I can't deal with both his and mine. He doesn't understand anything I'm going through and every time he tries to cheer me up I just want to smack him. We haven't had sex in months unless we're fucked up - and even that doesn't make me feel "better" anymore. And I feel so bad for being such a shitty girlfriend, but I just can't help it.
The worst part of it all is I've always prided myself on my friendships - I've always had a ton of friends, and not just friends, the BEST friends. And I'm afraid I'm losing all of them because I won't pick up their phone calls because I just don't even want to talk to anyone.
I've watched the entire series of the office, 30 rock, and arrested development over 4 times each and i spend the rest of my day trying to get up the energy to get out of the house. or just not to cry all day.
I'd go to therapy just to have someone to talk to but, of course, I have no health insurance. cool.
Like John said, I really hope everyone from 08 is happier now..

It started about a month after graduation. I had a tight-knit group of friends in college and we made plans to talk at least once a week. When I was hearing about how their lives had plans, the more my life seemed like it was unraveling. After a few more weeks, the engagements started happening, two were engaged and it's to be three by the end of the summer. I should be happy, but it put my goals into perspective even more.

No job, no boyfriend, no money, job plan not working- and it feels like my creativity and some-days my soul is just tired and drained. I try to tell myself not to compare, and in each interview I explain my "unique and valuable skillset" but I'm thinking finding that job is like a game and only a select few who play it right win a happy career. I'm trying to meet new friends but it takes more effort to tell myself to get out and do something good for myself. I do have one thing going - I'm committed and determined to get out of this rut.

Oh you know it's bad when your friends joke that they will hire you to chauffeur them around in their new car and feed their fish. I just need to find my own purpose and way. It's only been 2 months but feeling this way is very real, and I'm beginning to realize I'm not alone and shouldn't be embarrassed of all the recent rejection from the job market.

It is comforting to know that I'm not the only one drowning in the throes of quiet desperation and terror. I graduated from an excellent school with excellent grades, and with enough bulletpoints in my resume to make the fool in me believe that I'd have an upper-hand when applying to well-paying,fulfilling jobs in beautiful, amazing cities. It's been 2 months since I walked at commencement and I've yet to hear from any of my prospects. Everyday I wake up, brew some coffee, fill out more applications, and spend the rest of my time refreshing my inbox, checking my phone for missed calls, and trying my darnedest to avoid the junkfood in my mom's pantry. In a selfish and awful way, I'd like to hear that my closest friends are also still searching for employment, but that's not the case. They've gone on to very big jobs in very big cities, or they're volunteering abroad, or traveling through Italy on Daddy's Visa.

I've become so resentful of others' successes that I've avoided speaking to my friends, and I haven't spoken to my boyfriend in weeks because I'm afraid he'll think that I'm not trying hard enough. There have been a handful of recent engagements and weddings too, and my mom and grandparents' open dismay that I've yet to introduce them to a proper boyfriend sends another bullet through my self esteem. I thought overcoming the anxiety and homesickness that I felt freshman year would be my greatest obstacle, little did I know that three years later I'd give anything to go back to that little dorm in frostbitten New England, with term papers and presentations and readings to work on. My self-confidence has crumbled, and I'm not sure I'd have anything to offer even if "they" did call for an interview. Everyday I want to simply disappear.

I suffered from post-college depression right around my 27th birthday. Right after college I started my own business, but after a few years the business was not panning out like I had planned. I was losing money faster than I ever thought possible. Thankfully, one of my friends suggested I hire a few business consultants to help my business get back on track. It was the best decision I ever made. Now, at age 32 my business is where I wanted it to be.

I graduated with a masters from a prestigious university in the arts. It cost me tens of thousands. I had to move away for my degree to a different country, and my marriage fell apart. I can't find a job relating to my field because it's not a 'professional' degree, and i'm over educated so I can't even get a job at a bookstore (which would be a dream at this point). I guess they think I'll move on too quickly or take their positions. I have no friends left because they all moved to different cities and went in really different directions over the years, and I never really built really close relationships because I was too busy communicating with my husband back home. Now he's doing great in his masters programe and hates me, and I have no one to talk to. Going to old teachers has been a complete bust, I tried confiding in one of them and lost a reference (and any chances I ever had at being hired at my local university in my field). And I was stuck with an advisor who was really uninterested in what I was interested in, and I had no feedback or guidance for my thesis. As I result I did way shittier than in my undergrad, and have subpar references that wouldn't see me into an unpaid internship, nevermind anything else.
I now have major self-esteem issues, I feel like I can't remember a thing, and a year out of grad school I feel like I've forgotten virtually everything I learned. And I was one of the 'really good ones' going into grad school - in the top 5.
Now, I dread writing applications. I've managed to get one temporary job that's ending in a month. I'm so tired of making applications that I never hear back from. It takes me a full day to write a statement of interest for most jobs I could possibly do, and I have no connections in this city so no one is willing to hook me up with anything. i feel so useless, and that I've wasted a colossal amount of money and time on something that served only to completely obliterate my self esteem. I truly, honestly, hate myself, and it's a damn shame, because I used to have a lot of potential.

Interesting article. I'm starting to think that I might be in a post-graduate depression, although I'm not entirely sure. The first year after has sure been different than I expected, resulting in my going back to the family business rather than striking out on my own to do something new. Maybe I screwed up, I don't know. I can only hope that my younger sister learns from my mistakes and sticks with a major and a career path that is worth pursuing.

Let's not forget that this economic crisis is a MAJOR factor in our lack of job opportunities. Let's not lose hope and keep striving. There are people in much tougher conditions. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for earning my degree, studying and partying abroad, having overall good health, speaking 3 languages, having food and shelter, being in my 20s, and goddamn it, just being alive and not living in dire conditions, such as those I witnessed in Brazil and Mexico. I am also thankful for my supportive family and the 10 hours a week I get at my part-time job. Yes, 10 hours. Hey, that's more than what a lot of other people can get these days. So, even if we are not working at our dream jobs, at least we have jobs. Stay positive people!! And to those who kept mentioning being depressed because of a lack of boyfriend or girlfriend, get over it! You will find a loving partner when the time is right. Plus, read some of the post of people who ARE in relationships and you will see that things aren't always greener on the other side. Nothing wrong with being single, I am especially directing this to the women. Well, I feel better for sharing a bit of my experience and providing a little perspective. Hope the people from 2008 are doing better now.

Thanks for anrsewing my question (and all of the other ones too)! I was sorry to hear you didn't get the job you wanted but it sounds like there are some new opportunities so hopefully one of those will work out.

Love those! I enjoy following your posts on facebook and rss!

Yeah, I remember my SCSU days being one huge 5-year blur of great times, awseome friends, and a huge learning experience both in and out of the classrooms.

There is still debate as to wtheher depresion and anxiety are genetic or learned behaviors. If depression were just a chemical imbalance there would be no need for therapy, which is how many psychiatric patients are treated. They only time many really see a pscyhchiatrist is for a medication report.The chicken or the egg refers to what came first. Did a chemical imbalance cause the depresion and/or anxiety, or was it a traumatic event(s) that caused the chemical imbalance?

But a genetic diioisptson is found which makes it likelier for one to be suffering from depression. Both my parents had this condition, I have it as well but not my twin brother. And nobody would deny the importance of a therapy. And what is your chicken-egg-logic referring to? Genes don't change out of nought. Someone can have the diioisptson without ever developing depressions and vice versa.

Yes. Same problem.No it is not eiaecsplly common. Rather, it is uncommon for financial aid (assistance) to take longer than usual to get verified. All for good reasons. Genuine reasons. However, the government might well, now and then, throw a spanner in the works. That is when it might well take longer than usual. Although, the term usual' is common these days. Red tape, I believe.Hope this Helps.

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