Post-College Depression: Part 1 - What is Post-College Depression?

One of the most disconcerting things I found while doing research for The Turbulent Twenties Survival Guide is almost everyone I spoke to about emotional health after college mentioned to me that either they had become depressed or knew of fellow graduates who had developed what I call post-college depression. Along with post-college depression, many spoke about feeling extremely nervous about how their life was unfolding after graduation because they didn't know what the next step was and felt like they were simply wandering through their twenties and thirties. What compounds this worry and stress is the assumption that these feelings of sadness are somehow abnormal when in fact, it is just the opposite.

You Are Not Alone
If you or someone you care about are experiencing feelings of anxiety, helplessness, or depression, you or they are certainly not alone. It is extremely common to struggle with an array of negative emotions that arise from all the challenges changes you face after college throughout your twenties and thirties. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, acute depression is the second-most common illness in the United States right after ischemic cardiopathy (congestive heart failure). As Eduardo Punset describes in his book, The Happiness Trip, "Depression is the greatest cause of incapacity in the world, measured in years lived with an incapacitation condition, among people over the age of five...Although we are well on the way to eradicating disease caused by external factors, we are invaded by malignant sadness that germinates from within."

Post-College Depression Can Also Affect Your Work and Career
Post-college depression not only has a major impact on you personally, but can have a a negative impact on your work and career. Feelings of sadness and helplessness from the post-college blues can result in poor performance, absences from work, or even losing your job. It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to effectively do all the things that your job requires (much less excel) if you're struggling psychologically. Our emotional health is just as, if not more, important than having a stellar resume or the perfect cover letter. While we don't think about it, it is vitally important to put just as much time and energy into becoming psychologically strong as we do in all the other external aspects of our life.

There is a running thread about post-college depression on the Life After College Forum however, what I will be doing on MarcosSalazar.com is delving much deeper into the increasingly common problem of depression, anxiety, and stress emerging adults of Generation Y through a series of posts as well as show how it can affect your work and career. I want to raise awareness of this epidemic among millennials and let people know that they are not alone in facing this problem. I exposed this problem in the Turbulent Twenties Survival Guide where I provided the first comprehensive explanation of this common problem and here I will expand on my findings as well as provide ways that you can combat the post-college blues.

What Are the Symptoms of Post-College Depression?
Below are a common list of symptoms that post grads have mentioned they feel after college:

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Focusing on failure
• Excessive anxiety
• Lack of confidence
• Feeling of being overwhelmed
• Sadness
• Loss of interest in normal activities
• Tiredness
• Feeling like they're not good enough
• Impaired concentration or memory
• Inability to cope
• Despondency or despair
• Hopelessness

Two Forms of Post-College Depression
As I spoke with both younger and older graduates, I found that there are two distinct times after college that emerging adults are most susceptible to post-college depression. The first is right after graduation. This is because because there's never been any other time in which so many aspects of our lives change so quickly and drastically. From work and career, to finances, to relationships, to coping with creating a new vision of self, so many parts of life can be up in the air. What's worse is that we have to attend to them all at once, which can overwhelm us and create a feeling of not don't have any control over the important areas of their lives.

The second point in which emerging adults can develop post-college depression is during the mid-to-late twenties and early thirties. It is at this point that it dawns on them that five or more years have passed since graduation and their life is not where they thought it would be when they planned it all out during college.

For example, when we were younger we most likely thought that by our mid-to-late twenties we would have a great paying job that we loved, a defined career and a plan to change the world, a great group of friends, dating someone seriously, possibly engaged or married, making payments on a new house and in general, have our life more settled. But most of us have only a few, if any, of these things present in their lives. Most likely, the job we are in is not our dream job, we are not settled in any type of career, not married, renting a small studio that takes up half our paycheck or living with a group of other twentysomethings frat and sorority style, can't even come close to affording a house, not making much money and quite possibly, living back home with the parents. At this point we also have accept the fact that we cannot change the world so easily or accomplish all that we want as fast as we could during their academic years.

What's Next?
Just because you may be experiencing feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression doesn't mean that you have to let them take over your life. There are proven strategies you can use to beat the post college blues, and what I will show you in coming posts is how to use these clinically tested methods proven to help you take control of your emotional health. In the next post I will talk discuss how it is very easy to developed what psychologist Martin Seligman calls "Learned Helplessness" as a result of so many things being unstable in our lives after college, which can quickly lead to post-college depression. We we also talk about how this can affect your work and career and begin outlining ways in which you can start combating the post-college blues to regain your sense of control and happiness.

Questions to Comment On:

• Have you or do you know someone who has developed Post-College Depression?
• Have you done anything to combat these feelings?

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Comments

[Linda]

Great blog, Marcos!

No doubt many will benefit from the insights you have learned. I look forward to reading your upcoming posts.

[Di]

Thank God there are other people who understand.

I was considering therapy--but I can't afford it because I don't think my medical covers it and I wasn't sure I wanted to pay a therapist to tell me things I can figure out from what I learned in Psych 101. Perhaps this is normal then.

[Sean]

I've had my share of post-grad depression too. I graduated from college nearly three years ago. It's not that I miss college. I pretty much took advantage of the experience and did nearly everything I wanted to do. I was involved in sports and other school activities, worked, good student, leader, lots of good friends, ambitious, optimistic and saw myself as being more mature than most my peers.

When I graduated, I was pumped. With a great intership under my belt, I was ready to apply what I gained in college and change the world.

I experienced my share of false starts. Within 3 months, I found my first job, but quickly found out it wasn't for me. I was "let go" from my first two jobs ...told I wasn't good enough or not a good fit. All of a sudden, I didn't know what to do. I felt like a failure with no direction. If someone told me I was doing good for someone fresh out of college, I didn't know it.

Then I landed the job of my dreams as a newspaper reporter and did that for a year. That year, however, turned out to be a bad, eyeopening experience for me. It didn't take long for that to fall either. Made me realize how important it is to work with good people. I also realized that time is precious. Once it's gone, it's gone.

After my share of career misfortunes, I've found someplace that makes me happy for the time being. But amidst that, I feel axious all the time. I feel like I never have a moment of peace in my head.

I find it hard to motivate myself like I used to when I was in school. No more pats on the back or words of praise on a regular basis. Then on another note, I'm so busy with my own life that I see and talk less and less to my friends. I'm 25 years old now and I wonder if I'm doing enough to save for my retirement. I'm 25 and worry about RETIREMENT! I'm in a steady relationship, and that alone comes with it's shown share of problems outside the adjustment to reality.

I want to by a house, but when will that come? I'm not making 50k + or six figures yet. I want to go to grad school, but don't know what to focus on. Now, I find myself reconsidering the goals I set way back when I was a teen. I've always had high standards for myself and continuously feel as if I need to be doing more so I don't fall behind my peers.

I've realized their is little about this world that I can change immediately. Even if you are a nice person and do all the right things, you can still get screwed.

[Chris]

As a male minority I feel that I don't have any one to turn to with these feelings. In my community such feelings are not meant to be expressed by a man whom has his health, youth, and education. Yet, it is tough to move on, and hard to express the feelings you are not suppose to have especially when you are talking to people who are not in a similar situation.

[Sara]

I never expected to feel so sad after graduating. I feel like everything I know is gone, and I am so afraid to go to interviews because I feel like I haven't really learned anything in college that could prepare me for the future besides waking up early and studying for things I don't even remember anymore. Everyone says I should be proud, but I feel like college was so much work on subjects that don't matter, and after all this work all I get is a fancy piece of paper, and no real skills.

[Marcos]

@ Linda

You should reconsider going to see a therapist. It is much more than psych 101 and they are trained professionals that can help get out the negative emotions and thoughts you may be experiencing. Many therapists will charge on a sliding scale and will work with you so you can afford treatment. Therapy is not always for severe emotional problems but can sometimes be used for more of an emotional tune up. Think about how much money you spend on your education - why not spend a fraction of that as an investment in your mental health?

Marcos

[Tony]

For me i did my depression 1 year before graduation and i started medication but i am relapsing and i am doing doing up and downs when i graduated i was full of energy and hope by presenting my cv and doing interviews now i feel worthless as an Engineer i just dont know how to get rid of this negative ideas !

I had grad in 96. I felt like the high school system just wanted to get you out of there. They do not prepare students for the real world or even college/univers. I would have benefited greatly from a Life Skills Program, How to Research the right college or university and an Effective Study Skills Course. Myself and a lot of other students are not prepared for the unexpected things in life. I didn't like the negative influence of college of drinking, smoking, partying, and the intense pressure to have sex. I felt like a baby in the adult world that I was unprepared for.

Now, students have too many choices, too much technology and too much of everything. It a very confusing way to start out in the ways of the world. If i had things my way I would stick to a local community college and just focus on my studies.

[Mizzy]

Glad to know there are others who share the quiet desperation of post-college life, the world of the unknown! In college the world is your playground, you can dream of changing it while wearing designer clothes as you skip to the coffee shop to meet your metrosexual boyfriend... okay that's my own fantasy... pretty sure I got it from Carrie, Sam, Charlotte, and Miranda.. but whatever. The point is, I think a common theme is that college is great for empowering teen-twenty somethings and making them think them can do anything- (unless you flunked out) but NOBODY tells you that just because you graduated from a fabulous school, doesn't mean you'll be good at life... it doesn't mean you won't be faced with the same types of problems you did before you went to college. It doesn't meant that you're particular smarter than anyone else who didn't go to college. It does mean you'll be forced to take a large sour gulp of reality when you realize you have ten thousand billion dollars of student loans to pay off- and you have to live with your parents so you won't starve to death in the fabulous streets of the city. (insert personal autobiography here). And no matter how liberal your college career was, no matter how much you can't stand capitalism and corporations and evil evil evil, to live in America requires that you bleed money, and that you love doing it.

bleh! it sucks! my professors all said I was so smart and mature! So why do I work at a call center and live with my mom in the burbs? During these moments of quarter life crisisdom, I think it's important to try and dedicate yourself to some goal- anything. Learn a language, study for the GRE, teach yourself how to sew... learn to cook exotic cuisine. The turbulent twenties don't have to be doom and gloom. They don't have to be directionless- and who says that a wandering soul is all bad? Life is meant to be enjoyed with love, and if you're still wishy washy about the future, maybe it's because you need to experience more things before realizing what makes you thrive. Sometimes college isn't enough for that.

I am personally one of those people who wants to do something great, but has no clue what great thing to pick. It's terrifying and stifling to have all of these choices hurdling at your face like shooting stars, attacking you with their promise of happiness. After college there is nooooobody to tell you which star to pick, and nobody to cry to if you think you picked the wrong one.

That's been my problem my entire life, the compulsive need to accomplish something, but having no idea where to direct all my hyperactive, very enthusiastic energy towards. By now I've considered that most people either get successful from a streamlined focused life plan from birth, or simply by being at the right place at the right time. Or by being born into a wealthy family. (the last one happens the most). So by elimination of the impossible, I had better buy a rabbits foot and make four leaf clover bracelets out of unicorn hair.

It scares me because I've always felt like I had free choice in my life- but it simply isn't true. One day I will desperately want to be an actress, and the next I'll want to major in International Affairs, and then the next day I can't possibly understand why I'd choose either career because my true calling is to start my own business. And all of those choices were made by stupid things, like a comment a woman made on a bus that made me consider industrial psychology, or a random trip to the spa that made me realize my true dream of becoming a massage therapist. Can we really control our future at all, if a strange glance from a stranger in the grocery store makes me want to be a celebrity animal trainer? It's the world around us that makes our decisions for us. Still, I sooo envy those people who are dedicated to something they've wanted all their lives. They must sleep like dead babies.

I've decided to allow the winds to direct me where they wish, because I don't have the stamina to be attached to anything for more than a day, I don't have enough fire in my blood to guide me towards some passionate ambition, and frankly, I think people are too obsessed with being awesome and fantastic that we don't step back and realize that idea is just a mirage. Once you're fantastic, there are loads of people more fantastic than you are, that you must now compete with. Nobody can live happily that way. It is best to just live, and guide your life by doing what brings joy to your heart. Cheesy, but I believe it. The best way to change the world is by bringing joy to yourself, which will bring joy to others without effort. And that brings us to where we started from, which is... what the hell is going to bring me joy?

and that's life.

[Leslie]

I just graduated college and have definitely been feeling the post college blues. I feel extremely worthless, and I definitely can relate to sara. I feel like I acquired no skills to offer the work force, and have yet to find a "real job." Every day I think "today will be different" and hope to hear from a job I applied for, or from a company I interviewed with, all to no avail. I now work three part time jobs because I can't seem to find any full time work. It just seems like I can't catch a break, and it's spilling over into my personal life as well. I can't seem to relate to anyone because I graduated a year early, and all my friends either have full time jobs, or are still in college. I just want to be able to do something I love and put all my passion into it.

[Tom]

It's good to know I'm not alone.

I busted my butt off in college, to get a degree in biology. I thought there would be plenty of jobs, which is what the college told me. When I graduated, I left school and an internship which entailed living on the beach studying sea turtles. I knew that lifestyle would be irreplaceable. But with all the hard work I put in and the diversity of my career path, I thought I would find something similar.

I got a job at an environmental consulting company (160 miles from where I went to school), where I sit in an office, staring at a computer and acting busy. At least once a month, I'm told the company is struggling and I'm lucky to have a job. I have been there a year with no raise. I had to get a 2nd job on the weekends running food to tables, where I make more money/hr. The pay is lousy.

Luckily, I live with my parents. And as many of you know, it isn't fun. Due to the instability of the job I don't feel secure enough to move out.

Working 7 days a week + living with parents + out of college town = no social life.

The jobs aren't there to apply for, salary is terrible, and I don't have enough experience.

Going through all this has made me question what my hard work was for.

[Shannon]

I TOTALLY relate to this one. My boyfriend and I went to the same college in Upstate NY, and after graduation he moved to CT with his brother, while I moved in with my parents in MA (not my hometown - they'd moved). I only made one new friend during the year after graduation, but my hometown was an hour away and lots of family was nearby, so it wasn't so bad. But after a year, I decided to follow my bf down to CT, where he and his brother became the only people I knew. Since then, it's been really difficult and the fact that neither of us knows many people besides each other has become a strain on our relationship - I don't know what to do with myself when he's not around because I don't know many other people. Slowly I've begun to get closer to a few people at work, and we hang out every once in a while, which hopefully will continue.

It's just been a bit depressing, this feeling of having almost no friends for the first time in my life, and of being almost dependent on my boyfriend because of that. Not exactly the glamorous adult I'd pictured myself becoming!

That being said, things are SLOWLY starting to get better. In the fall we're moving to a neighborhood where several of my closer friends from work live, so hopefully I'll get back the sense of community that I lost after graduating college/leaving home.
I think that making friends after college is definitely possible, it's just a shock how much longer it takes for these friendships to develop than they did when we were in school.

It's good to know others are in the same boat, though - probably something to keep in mind when you DO meet new people our age!

[Yes]

Total mid-20s depression here. I thought I finally had it all figured out, and then I got rejected from all the graduate programs to which I applied. I guess it doesn't matter where you go to college or how good your GRE scores are... anyway, now I'm working part-time at the first college I went to (I transferred), sleeping on friends' couches, and looking desperately for a job that I'll be able to work at for at least a year without turning into a serious alcoholic. That's my criteria at this point: so long as it is marginally tolerable enough that I won't come home every night and drown my sorrows in copious amounts of booze, I will take your job! Please! Except, too bad there just aren't that many jobs out there to take...

And I tried moving home once before. It REALLY didn't work out, so that's not really an option for me.

It doesn't help that I have an older sibling who did everything perfectly and is now super-successful and happy. How do you follow that? And we're only a year apart!

It's good to know that I'm not alone, though. I have a lot of really successful friends so I often feel like this gigantic fuckup who can't figure anything out, while everyone around me makes their lives work beautifully. Good to hear that others out there are struggling, too -- it's not just me!

[Jake]

I also just graduated last may and I want to mention another aspect of this post-college blues that I've been going through and that hasn't been discussed here as much.

That is, having gone to a mid-size liberal arts school, I felt that by the end of my time there, I really had my own place on campus, I'd found my niche. I had a lot of friends that I would see every time I went out for a walk or sat on the college green to read. If I was ever bored I could find at least one or two other people who wanted to do something. I always had someone to eat dinner with or grab a beer with, there was always a friend's band or art show to go see, and it was (relatively) easy to meet women. The sort of tight, ready made community I was a part of is what I am sorely missing now.

Probably I'll wind up in the same location as a few of my friends, and thankfully email and g-chat make it easier to keep tabs. Still, there are so many people that I'll only see rarely, if ever (maybe at reunions). I think the loss of that community that I loved so much is a huge part of the blues that I've been feeling for the past couple months.

[Nicky]

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. Everyone in my life is getting on my nerves. They think they know so much. When I graduated college I was able to get a good paying job. It had nothing really to do with what I majored in but it was nice money and it sounded nice to tell people what I did.

Then earlier this year the company laid off my department and I'm scrambling to find a job. I apply to countless jobs and I have searched all over my town. People mean well when they ask me if I applied at the obvious places in my town but I'm like I have a degree so I have to have a little intelligence. Of course I applied there!

Also, I'm really religious so people in my religious community act like I'm not doing something right. They say maybe you're not praying hard enough for a new job or a husband or direction. I tell them I pray every day, several times a day. Then they are like well maybe God's mad because you try to rush Him along. I think well they do a whole lot of crazy bad stuff all the time and they still got a job, a house, and a man. I just don't get why people try to judge my situation as a punishment from God.

During this awful transitional time I have contemplated suicide a lot. I don't think I can go through with it because my family has dealt with the loss of a few relatives. I lost my mom two years ago so I can definitely relate to the person earlier who lost their dad. I also had to take care of her and my father who had cancer, too.

I moved back home to help take care of my dad. He's better and he's gone back to work. But I'm left jobless, low on money, and with a love life that needs life support.

I never thought it would be this way. When I was a teen, I thought certainly by this age I'd be seriously dating someone, I'd have a great career or even my own company, and I'd be living a cool life in my nice little house or apartment. It's so hard to realize that all these things can happen but just not right now.

Oh and today I held one of my friend's babies and I almost started crying. I know I'm only 26 and biologically I should be able to easily have a baby for several more years but all I keep hearing in my brain is 4 more years! 4 more years. My biological clock keeps telling me 4 more years like if I don't have a baby by 30, my ovaries will explode and I'll have to get a dog to dress up in baby clothes.

It's amazing how our own analyzing and fears can drive us crazy.

[Meg]

In the past, universities created specific degrees for specific jobs that employees would have forever. What's worse, they filled us with a little too much confidence. Now that the economy is unstable, this model doesn't work at all. You have to be creative and flexible. Research jobs that could benefit from your skill set. Start working small, but make very big plans to stay motivated. Also, have faith that you'll click with somebody interviewing you. My boss hired me just because she liked me! Imagine!

[Doug]

Even when everyone says "thank God I'm not alone" in post-college depression, I want to say it, yet I still feel alone. I am about to turn 23 and graduated last December '07. I continued to live with a college roommate for the Spring semester and had a girlfriend (a true soul mate)who I started dating in Sept/Oct of '07. I also took an additional Acting Course at my college (was a Theatre Major) for free and was in a show that semester as well. Pretty much it took 4.5 years to graduate but 5 years of college living.

By the end of the school year, my relationship fell apart and sent me into the initial depression. I had planned for a year to go to England to live and work with a 6-month Visa. I went for a month. Realized it wasn't what I wanted anymore and came back to the states. I am now living at home working (while trying to pay off the England thing) before the claimed eventual move to Chicago/LA to start my acting career. I am in an essence in what I like to call post-college purgatory, ontop of the depression.

Half of my friends have graduated and have started their lives, and the other half (including the now Ex, whom I can't get over) are still in college. I'm an hour and 20 minutes from that city and keep wanting to use every excuse to go up and see people. Everyone knows I'm ultimately depressed and all people can say is "give it time" and similar sayings. I have no clue what the solution is.

My 25 year old sister might be moving back home with my 18 month old nephew after troubles with her boyfriend. Life at home isn't fun. No social life really and GRASPING any glimpse I can still get of the college lifestyle. I think this transition is hard enough in itself, and I am having to do it with the heartbreak and loss of the one I thought I couldn't lose and would be there to help with this transition.

Suicide has run through my mind as well as a couple others have said. No health-insurance means no therapy or depression meds. I feel as though I'm going to look back in 20 years and find that my life topped off when I was 22.

I have always been sort of an optimist, but this time around, it's a little different. Turns out love is the most important aspect in my life, and all I want is to have the woman of my life back because everything else might be figured out.

[Janice]

I am also feeling the post-graduation anxiety! I feel that as a graduate I deserve the respect, and paycheck, that should come along with it. Unfortunately, most interviewers disagree. In contrast to Sara, I think I have learned many great skills and have a great work ethic, but I can not find a job that will appreciate me and allow me to exercise these skills. I can't afford more unpaid internships to get the 'experience' employers want. I know I can perform, and hopefully will find an appropriate place to do so soon. Money, no boyfriend, loss of friends, and seeing others' rapid success rates are bringing me down. I have no motivation to get out of bed each and every morning!

[Helen]

From reading everyone's comments it's good to know that we are all in similar situations. I've recently graduated from university and am looking for a job. Any job will do for now so long as it brings me money. I'm living back at home so the social life is lacking but at least if I get some cash I can go visit friends who are still at university.

I find it helps to plan exciting fun things, to have something to look forward to. The days seems to pass by and roll into one at the moment! I feel like a housebound pensioner. What this time has allowed for is a lot of thinking and reflection! I've got to live in the present now rather than dream about the future or pine for the past. I find myself re-evaluating my situation over and over again and am not getting anywhere because ultimately there's too much thinking going on and not enough action or motivation!

I know I've got to just get out there and try something, but until someone takes a chance on me and employs me I'm stuck. Being unemployed really doesn't make you feel good about yourself, it's like if anyone meets you and asks what you do and you say "er well I don't have a job...but I am trying to get one" they just automatically have a low opinion of you.

I've recently dug out old records I used to listen to and came accros a Coldplay track that goes "Nobody said it was easy, no-one ever said it would be this hard, I'm going back to the start." I feel the lyrics are relevant to my life right now. I'm making a new beginning and taking each day as it comes, one step at a time. As the proverb goes, "It doesn't work to cross a 20ft chasm in two 10ft jumps."

[feeling useless]

I really thought i was the only one who felt like a big loser. I relocated to London assuming i would find a job easily and now im sitting here jobless with no friends and feeling like a big loner. Everyone has moved on and most of my friends have lucked out or thrown themselves into post academic education having to be the last one left without a job is brutal. Being 23 and a recent graduate has proven to be one of the lowest pts of my life. It's hard to wake up in the morning and motivate yourself to keep going and pushing foward when all you feel is defeated. Being unemployed is the ultimate rejection and you can't help but feel inadequate, you work so hard all 4 yrs achieving A's and B's only to leave school and realize no one wants to know you; not even those oh so helpful head hunting agencies to them your nothing but a product waiting to be shifted and if you don’t have corporate experience your academic knowledge is worthless.

However at the same time the career enhancing job that i have been searching for is still not the solution to the whole issue. The thought of being in an industry where i am surrounded by ppl in their mid 30s and beyond is definitely nothing like living the res life and being amongst your equals and academic peers who you could easily bond and form friendships with. I really don’t feel i can relate to all the 30+ year olds amidst the rat race.

I believe the isolation is far greater when you've been living on campus environment, during university you feel as though u are living with a community and all this changes upon graduating. Instead you are thrust into a cold profession world where everyone is much older and experienced and it just makes you feel so much smaller. At least in University students could hold on to their self-worth and esteem by priding themselves on being academics as well as, working towards their future goals.

However leaving school has made me realize in the eyes of the business world being a new graduate you're merely a disposable minion who is not even worth the $5/hr temp position your competing so hard for. All i have left is the rosy glow of memories of my previous undergrad life. The harsh reality is still setting in and i have realized my unrealistic expectations were nothing but fantasy. A post graduate’s professional ranking is at the bottom of the food chain. I wish my university would have prepared me for this reality because the most i have to look forward to now is to somehow climb the corporate ladder by being some tight assed executives bitch.

[Mischa]

Hi fellow graduates. I'm in the same boat over here in europe. I remember how wonderful it was when I finally completed my last assignment. I was really motivated to get a job. I pretty much gave everything up(also time to meet friends) to earn a degree. Then I ran into catch 22 and it went downwards from then on. -BSCS College Degree BUT no working experience- Finding it very hard to find a job, also due to the staggering economy. My old non-college friends all have money, relationships, friends.. some are even married and have kids.. and I'm sitting at home with my parents waiting to finally get a sh*tty entry job. I can't sleep until 5 in the morning, then sleep till 12. Feel really sick and have no motivation what so ever to do certifications that may possibly get me another crappy job. My cum laude isn't worth anything out here. What a waste of time.

[lost]

I really thought i was the only one who felt like a big loser. I relocated to London assuming i would find a job easily and now im sitting here jobless with no friends and feeling like a big loner. Everyone has moved on and most of my friends have lucked out or thrown themselves into post academic education having to be the last one left without a job is brutal. Being 23 and a recent graduate has proven to be one of the lowest pts of my life. It's hard to wake up in the morning and motivate yourself to keep going and pushing foward when all you feel is defeated. Being unemployed is the ultimate rejection and you can't help but feel inadequate, you work so hard all 4 yrs achieving A's and B's only to leave school and realize no one wants to know you; not even those oh so helpful head hunting agencies to them your nothing but a product waiting to be shifted and if you don’t have corporate experience your academic knowledge is worthless.

However at the same time the career enhancing job that i have been searching for is still not the solution to the whole issue. The thought of being in an industry where i am surrounded by ppl in their mid 30s and beyond is definitely nothing like living the res life and being amongst your equals and academic peers who you could easily bond and form friendships with. I really don’t feel i can relate to all the 30+ year olds amidst the rat race.

I believe the isolation is far greater when you've been living on campus environment, during university you feel as though u are living with a community and all this changes upon graduating. Instead you are thrust into a cold profession world where everyone is much older and experienced and it just makes you feel so much smaller. At least in University students could hold on to their self-worth and esteem by priding themselves on being academics as well as, working towards their future goals.

However leaving school has made me realize in the eyes of the business world being a new graduate you're merely a disposable minion who is not even worth the $5/hr temp position your competing so hard for. All i have left is the rosy glow of memories of my previous undergrad life. The harsh reality is still setting in and i have realized my unrealistic expectations were nothing but fantasy. A post graduate’s professional ranking is at the bottom of the food chain. I wish my university would have prepared me for this reality because the most i have to look forward to now is to somehow climb the corporate ladder by being some tight assed executives bitch.

[Wave O fDisillusionment]

Wow.

All I can say is that I'm feeling extreme levels of dissatisfaction, disillusionment, anxiety, and anger about my life right now. I graduated from a good university last April but life has been treating me poorly since then. I'm worried about everything: student loans coming due this month (50k; $650 + a month in payments), my job (I don't really have one, I'm just interning to bide time), my youth (I feel that it is slipping away everyday), and my personal/social life (I haven't really had a serious relationship before, and given my current state of affairs, now is definitely not the time to start).

I've always been extremely ambitious and goal-oriented. I know what I want to do and achieve in life, but right now I'm starting to get so disillusioned about my current state of affairs that I'm at my wits' end.

I miss college a great deal, and a good part of me (though I try to ignore it and move on) mourns over the fact that I let many opportunities slip by during my college years: I just kind of went through the motions and the next thing I knew, I graduated.

So, to recap: I don't have a "real" job, I didn't really have a serious girlfriend in college (and am thus lonely as all hell), I owe 50K+ in student loans, I live with my parents, and I've lost touch with some of my friends. By the way, I didn't even graduate cum laude -- I got a D+" my second-to-last semester in college and that wrecked my chances of graduating with honors.

This is pretty much the exact opposite of what I envisioned my life to be like. Needless to say, I feel as if I'm treading proverbial water and have no idea what to do with my life. I really want to go to graduate school, but a big part of me wants to try to go immediately (even though doing so is an impossibility given my inadequate work experience and the fact that I am broke) so I can "relive" college and truly enjoy life as a college kid. Although I'm very interested in the subject matter of the grad school program I intend to apply for, I would be lying if I said I didn't want to go to college football games on the weekends, party, and enjoy the social benefits (read: be around a multitude of college girls) of being a college kid again.

I'm starting to wonder if my life is going to be one really long Monday.

If anyone has had similar experiences (my condolences) or can offer any insight, I would appreciate a reply. Honestly, thank you.

[Adriane]

I believe that all of us go through this phase in our lives right when get out of college when it becomes a reality that were not going to become successful right away. Part of that we have to blame society for, all throughout college were told that were basically guaranteed success and that going to college is the right thing to do.. well here I am a 23 year old college grad of only 5 months and I'm sitting here at an entry level job in advertising making 27k a year not doing anything but looking quarter life crises information up because I have nothing to do here at work.. it depresses me to know that the average income is supposed to be 30k for college grads, it also depresses me that I worked so hard in school and now I come to work to not only just get the boss his lunch, but do mind blowing things that someone who's 16 should be doing.

I try to look at this as just an experience and that I should be grateful that I was able to get a job in this tough economy right now but seriously.. how am I supposed to be motivated when I don't have no motivators at work??

[Iris]

I had no idea post-college depression was this common! I expected to feel sadness after graduation (I graduated in August), but I didn't think it'd be this difficult....

I've been searching for a job since May, and I just got my first job interview about 2 weeks ago (which I was GRATEFUL for). It took them 2 months to contact me after I applied, which sucks, but whatever. I majored in criminal justice and minored in psychology at a fairly large liberal arts school (I can also relate to the loss of community), and those are my passions. I am adamant about getting a job in the CJ field. I've taken the drug test for the job, so that was promising, but they called me last week to tell me it'll be a couple more weeks because they have to get approval to fill the position.

I have applied for at least 50 jobs so far, some of which are below my qualifications. I really feel like I could thrive in this job, and I want it more than anything right now. It sounds like it would provide excitement and purpose...not to mention around $35K/yr. I have NO money, and like everyone else, I have bills to pay. I also have to start paying back $13K of loans in about 3 months. I moved in with my boyfriend right after graduation, and it makes it hard knowing he works at least 50 hours a week, and I don't even have a stinkin' job. I'm a member of at least 3 career networking sites, and I get the daily job alerts...all the postings are either jobs I've already applied for, I'm not qualified for, or I'm completely not interested in because it's not my field (like a bank teller or someone selling insurance). It's SO frustrating.

To top it all off, I miss my college friends like crazy. College was the best time of my life. Thank God for Facebook...it makes it a lot easier to keep in touch, but I really wish I could hang out with them. But they're 5 hours away, and I have no money and a not-so-reliable car. I have friends here in the Houston area that I want to reconnect with (I'm from here), but they all have jobs...I don't want to see them until I have a job.

After college, I saw myself with a great job and engaged to my boyfriend. Except now he's also in debt...I have no job...I have no money...Hurricane Ike kicked Houston's ass and left us without power for 2 weeks...and the economy SUCKS for everyone.

The only things I'm looking forward to right now are: my birthday (money and hanging out with friends), cat-sitting ($50 to deposit into my bank account), and the presidential election (because I'm counting on CHANGE for this country). Oh yeah, and hearing back about the job...the one place that has expressed genuine interest in my skills.

It sucks we all have to feel this way, and I really hope we make it through our quarter-life crises (I've never considered that term until reading these comments). I'm really glad to know that my feelings are validated and not abnormal. I've been trying really hard not to let these feelings show because I'm known as such a happy person. Just writing this all out is pretty therapeutic for me. Whew.